Sweet Summer...

Where is the summer going? June was a wash, mainly because Chief (our puppy) caught parvo, and he required round the clock care for about 2 weeks. I was in class for a week, the boys were off wrestling for a week. It just disappeared. John has turned sixteen and gotten his permit, Dominic turned twelve, and Ang will soon be 3. Our high school 25 year reunion is around the corner. Hard to believe how fast time goes.
Angela will "age out" of her First Steps early intervention program when she turns three in August. It's a little traumatic only because she's had THE BEST team of therapists as our safety net to keep us helping her grow- we will soon be on our own! We chose not to send her to public preschool; I realize that there are aspects of that which would benefit her greatly, but I see more benefits with her being with her family, who love her and want her to do well more than anyone else could. So I'll be signing her up for Down Syndrome of Louisville's playgroups for her age, where they have a very capable DI teacher doing preschool stuff with them. She can go twice a week, and I'll go with her. I also need to get her going to a private speech therapist weekly. Her speech has seen a lot of improvement the past couple of weeks- let's pray it continues! She had her last therapy session this week with her Developmental Interventionist, Sarah. Sarah is moving to China with her family in August, and she is going to work with children in a school and orphanage there while her husband does his doctoral work and teaches school. It's kind of a neat course of life, since Sarah's little boy she adopted is from China! It was extremely sad for me to see her leaving the house, knowing she won't be back to see little miss Angela like she has been doing for some two years now. AND, she was a great inspiration for me to follow her into the world of being a DI. We will miss Sarah. Thankfully, I will at some point in the next couple of years be actually working with Angie's other therapists as a colleague when I become a DI, so I know I'll see them often, which is a real blessing.
Do you like the chicken pictures? Rita and Maria like the chickens a lot, and they are kind of nice animals outside of being smelly. We had two broody hens this spring and have seven little chicks now- too cute. Pray they are hens so their lives may be spared! ;-)

Jeff Update...

Nothing too exciting, but they took the stitch out (it's been stitched shut since April 24 to heal up) and everything looks really good. The doctor seemed pleased with the progress and told us to go ahead and make an appointment with the ocularist (the lady who makes eye prosthetics)so he can get an eye in there. He also wants to go ahead and fix the eyelid (it's droopy and has been for years)so it will sit more naturally for him. Apparently they take some fascia out of his leg (yet more harvesting of pieces from other parts of his body. Interesting.)and create a "sling" with it to his brow bone, so his lid won't sag. Jeff is always so hesitant for things like that; he feels really selfish doing something for cosmetic purposes, but the doctors act like they really want to do it and want Jeff to be happy with their work...also an interesting perspective. If the $$ turns out okay we will go ahead with it. I think it will be okay. I found out the prosthetic eye could be as much as $2600, but sometimes when there is no insurance to cover things like that they will make deals, so let's pray for deals! I hate to use the phrase "Jeff deserves it" but that's kind of how I feel. In the big scheme of things, we really deserve nothing. Every good thing is a gift, nothing should be expected. But Jeff endures a lot, and I think we would all agree that living with no front teeth and a funky eye that everyone looks at could be wearisome. I was complaining the other day about a couple of blemishes on my face (yes, the 43 year old with pimples AND wrinkles. Lovely.) and he just laughed at me and told me I was beautiful regardless, and I'm thinking "yea right..." But then I realized that I think Jeff is as handsome as the day I met him, no teeth and funky eye and all, and I believed him. When you're married for so long and you find yourself MORE in love, it's pure bliss. We're so on the same plane right now and it's so amazing and secure and beautiful, right in the heart, in the gut. I can't even put it into words actually. Tomorrow is our 21st anniversary too, and I've now known Jeff for 25 years, more than half my life. Crazy huh?

The 'Eyes' have it...

Just in case there is one human who reads this, Jeff is doing okay after his surgery yesterday. As usual for Jeff, it's never as easy as it seems and this one was practically as crummy as his original evisceration eight years ago. But the hard part is done anyway, and he now has a fancy new dermal-fat graft from his tummy inside his empty eyeball. Yummy, huh? The surgery ended up being longer and more difficult than originally planned. Apparently the old implant in his eyeball (made of a material that was rough-surfaced) had not only eroded away the tissue that enclosed it, but it was stuck to the tissue in other areas. So getting the old implant out was tough and bloody. His head is sore and swollen. But the Docs thought everything went really well and he's on his way now. His eye will be sewn shut awhile and in a few weeks we'll worry about getting his prosthesis in. The old one probably won't work but it could. He also needs some work on his eyelid. He's a brave and good man, he is. He never complains or whines about it. And most of us would be tired of people staring, and never looking the same, or like ourselves. Jeff just goes with it. Deo Gratias.

Of tests and surgeries...

Okay. So I am looking into grad school, with the intent to work on my Master of Education and Interdisciplinary Early Childhood Education Certificate so I can be a Developmental Interventionist for wee ones with Down Syndrome. (What a MOUTHFUL!) Therefore, I realized I would need to take the Graduate Record Exam. In short, it stinks. I took it yesterday after very little studying and scraped my way through several hours of torture including word analogies and antonyms, reading comprehension, two essays, and math problems. I did finish with above-average scores, but it is my observation that the very essence of the test is not to test actual knowledge, but how well you take a test. Basically every question is a trick question. At $140 a pop it most surely is a money making scheme. The good news is that I can take it several more times this year if I want to improve my score. Yea, right.
Now I have to figure out how to fund grad school. Or maybe I ought to go into the standardized testing business and become a millionaire. Sounds good to me.

Onto other more important issues. Jeff's fake eye has been steadily getting more irritated, goopy, droopy, and generally gross. He finally broke down and went to have it checked out. Apparently the fake "eyeball" that is back in the socket (not the cap that "looks" like an eye) has worn through the flesh that encloses it. And apparently that is because of a general defect in the material from which it is made. The Dr. said they have seen a lot of this with this brand of prosthetic,, folks coming in years later with the thing wearing through. So, Jeff will have to get a whole new prosthetic ball in there. That entails pulling the old one out, re-wrapping tissue around it, possibly getting some extra from his abdomen, then placing the new tissue-wrapped ball back in the socket. Gross. Then, he will have to possibly get a new anterior cap if the old one doesn't fit anymore (which cost $1000 back in '01) and get some work done on his eyelid that has become saggy. Of course, he loves all of that. The good news is that it's fixable and he won't have to deal with a perpetually runny, gross eye. Jeff's always very patient with that kind of stuff but I know it must get old. People stare at it and wonder why his eye is droopy and runny. I close one eye a lot when I'm doing things just to see what Jeff's world is like; it lets me not forget. Please pray for his good soul.

Oh, if you're wondering about the hand x-ray, take note of the pinky. That's Jeff's more recent mishap where he chopped the end of it off when he smashed it in a trailer hitch here in the driveway. It looks fine now, just a tad shorter! ;-)

the facebook frenzy...

This facebook thing is rather fun. In a matter of a couple of weeks I have reconnected with a dozen or more people from my ever so distant past. A few observations:
1. The majority of my classmates I am meeting on fb are liberal. It is painfully apparent that I am WAY more conservative than I ever thought I could be. What a difference 25 years makes!!
2. No one has big families. I LOVE having a big family. I guess we never take vacations and don't live in a McMansion, nor do we drive new vehicles (Jeff and I have a pact never to drive a vehicle which was manufactured in the decade in which we are living!!), and we rarely go out to eat or to movies. But the exchange is PRICELESS.
3. Everyone is everywhere. I wish we loved our hometown enough to stay in it. Greenhills was tremendous. I was way too cool to actually STAY there. That being said, I love Kentucky. It's more me than Cincy is. I'm pretty much a redneck.
4. The diversity of our GH class is so interesting. We are all rather well-educated I think. They did a fair job in that department!
5. I need to get off this computer and get to work. Laundry waits for no (wo)man. God bless anyone who actually reads this banter! ;-)

Special Olympics and the R-word

I know I really shouldn't be sensitive. Back in the day when I was much younger and inexperienced/unwise/unfeeling/uncaring/shallow/infantile I made Special Olympics jokes or called someone or something "retarded." I would make fun of "retarded people." Folks do it all the time. Just like when someone takes the name of God in vain, I cringe inside each time. When someone says "Jesus Christ!" to exclaim disbelief or irritation about something, I always say to myself "Bless His Holy Name." But when someone says "that's so retarded!" I usually keep silent, although I always feel like I'm about to bust. I'm not alone. Ask any mother or father of a child with DS- a child who may have had a heart surgery (or two) before his first birthday, or was born with such low muscle tone she is just limp, and the mere act of nursing is next to impossible. Ask those parents if that child is any less of a person than the well child next to him. Ask those parents if they love that child any less because he's "not perfect." Every time I look at Angela, I don't see a retarded/imperfect/broken child. I see OUR child, whom we love just like the others, her own perfect little self and all her assets and flaws there to see like every other child on earth. Now, whenever I see someone else's "handicapped" child, I know that is THEIR Angela, and well, we just "know." It's a silent sorority of mothers who love their children, period.

I can't make it stop. Even the president will do it, and he's supposedly the nonjudgemental messiah here to make all men equal. He can be the ultimate representative of the downtrodden poor, all the while counting his $51 million, laughing while the working (and not working) people wallow at his feet as he promotes his sham. And makes retarded jokes. Isn't he funny and witty? Give me a break.

Faith and Reason

"If the work of God could be comprehended by reason, it would be no longer wonderful, and faith would have no merit if reason provided proof." -Pope Gregory I

I came across this today while reading a DS article and it struck me just how much faith plays a role in my life. I have a friend whose blog is often wrought with drama and annoyances and "issues," and how hard it is to overcome these issues and how every little problem is SUCH an inconvenience. And I know my faith is what keeps me from that vortex of wishing things were different, or better, or somehow smoother. I guess we all wish for things to be better, and usually it's financially better, of which I claim no exception, and we may even pray to God that He somehow lifts us out of worry and stress-heck, a nice lottery check would be nice. But that is where a good Christian continues... God, I wish you could help me with xxxx problem. But if it's Your will that it not happen the way I would wish, so be it. I will carry each cross to the best of my ability, for You. That is the comportment we should have. And it ain't easy. But like all habits, good and bad, once you are in the habit of acceptance, working like it's all up to you and praying like it's all up to God, it's easier to do.

I remember when Jeff had his serious accident, a friend, blubbery and distraught said to me, "Shelley, he might lose his eye!" My first and only response was "But the other eye is okay, right?" To which someone might say to me, "But what if the other eye weren't alright?" Well, then, I say we go to the next "good" thing. Can he talk? Feel? Hear? Is he dead? If he's dead, was he wearing his scapular? Can we find the priest now? There is bound to be something good, somewhere. And we just need to focus on that.

And all of these inner conversations and thoughts and wishes are due to my faith. Not what I can see and touch and count with reason. I always find it interesting how the erudite like to belittle the faithful, as if their reason and science are oh so much superior in intelligence to the sheep who follow an unseen God. I certainly don't feel any dumb-er since I became a Christian. In fact, I have grown in wisdom and love that I never would have had. I would be a cold sob right now. Really.

I love Thee, O Christ, and I bless Thee,
Because by Thy Holy Cross Thou hast redeemed the world. Miserere nobis.

Our chattering Angela...

Angela is quite a character these days. Since most of you don't have the pleasure of having a child or sibling with Down Syndrome, I must say we parents tend to micromanage everything. For example, most of us don't worry whether our child will be able to distinguish his colors, match and sort objects by color or shape or whatever, or say his words clearly and meaningfully before he goes to kindergarten. Because most the time we just know they will do those things whether we teach them or no. But when you have a child with DS, and all the research tells you that early intervention and practice sets up the neural pathways that may not connect otherwise, you tend to watch and worry and, if you're like me, wonder if you're ever doing enough.
At 2 1/2, Angie talks A LOT. Unfortunately, most the time we have NO IDEA what she is talking about. She points and uses appropriate facial expressions and inflections and gestures, and most the time I know what she's trying to get across because some of the words are quite good. But every so often I have to just throw up my hands and say, "Ang, I have NO idea what you're talking about." She gets a little frustrated by this, because usually she is begging for some food item I am denying to get for her. Sometimes it's like she is telling a story, recounting something. But it's a lot of gibberish. Thankfully, she has the best speech therapist in town. Angela's therapists (speech, physical, and developmental) are known as the "dream team" around here. And her speech therapist assures me that Angela's incoherent chatter, scattered with s's and o's and ah's and t's, is merely her practicing for when she gets everything together, and she foresees Angela having excellent speech.
I've always said Ang's speech is most important to me. I want people to know her, and if she can't carry on conversation well, no one will listen to her. I don't want her to be invisible like that. I friend of mine is deaf, and she is so funny and witty. She reads lips very well, but she doesn't speak very clearly; she is hard to understand. And I realize now that she is easy to "ignore." I don't mean ignore on purpose, but it takes actual work to converse with her because you have to concentrate so hard. And most folks are in too much of a hurry to chat with someone when it requires work... So, yet another lesson comes from being Angela's mom. I never would have thought of that if it weren't for little Angie. She teaches us something every day.

A Little Bit 'O Spring...and a Walk to Beautiful...

So it's going to be 78 degrees today, then down in the 40's by tomorrow, to last a few days. I am trying really hard to keep things in perspective, remembering that any weather God gives to us is His will, and I should "rejoice and be glad in it" because it is His day. Especially during Lent.
I was up in the middle of the night a few days ago (Angela was having a hard time sleeping or had a bad dream or something, so I got up to sit with her for awhile until she fell asleep.) Anywho, I flip channels around to the PBS station (thanks to our fancy new DTVConverter!) and find a NOVA program called "A Walk to Beautiful." It was a tragic yet hopeful documentary about the plight of women in impoverished countries, Ethiopia in this case, who have no access to medical care, and suffer "fistulas" when they are in labor for days upon days. The result is chronic incontinence, no control of bowels or urine whatsoever in many of the women. They are shunned and secluded because of this injury, and many are young girls who have been raped or married very young. The "Walk" part is that there are hospitals and doctors who are addressing the problem, largely made possible from a charitable foundation called the Fistula Foundation, but the afflicted women often must walk hundreds of miles to get to them. Once there, they are given surgeries to correct the problem (it is curable!), a clean dress, and a bus ticket home. It reminded me how good we have it, despite all the complaining I may do. It reminded me that those people are no less people than I. I could just as easily be there as here.
Just as I never understood what it meant to have a handicapped child until I had one of my own, or deal with serious injuries such as Jeff's until he had them, I am sure I could have no true understanding of life as an Ethiopian woman living in Godless squalor. Despite modern communication and travel, the world is still very very big. I am feeling very small and insignificant indeed.

Winner gets the good hardware.

This weekend was the Kentucky State Middle School Wrestling Championships. You will recall that Justin got there by way of his first place finish at regionals a couple weeks ago, and Dominic got there by his runner-up-to-Justin finish. Dominic ended up losing his last match to his friend Ian who wrestles for Trinity; they have been back and forth all year and it was Ian's turn I guess. Sadly, Dominic was wrestling GREAT. He was actually winning the match 4-0 when Ian caught him too far over and managed to pin Dominic. I was sick over it but he had wrestled SO WELL at the tournament it's hard to feel bad. He would have placed if he had won that match. We were extremely proud of him. Next year he will be a force for sure.
Justin had to work his way to the finals too, and he had a fairly tough draw in the brackets. Jeff and I kind of knew he could/should/would win it all, but you know how things are; you don't know what will happen 'til it happens. In wrestling anything can happen on any given day. The best part is that there were some "favorites" to win among the wrestling gods in KY, and Justin was somewhat under the radar except for those who are around him a lot. He wasn't really favored to win. But he was on his game Saturday, which he needed to be, and he pulled out the victory. Better still, he won in a spectacular way, stacking his way to the pin in the first period of the match. Justin controlled the matches all day, and only one boy scored on him at all. We were happy for him. He did get some really nice hardware and a nice giant bracket to put on his wall. I told him he has to keep winning tournaments so we can pin brackets all over his walls and cover up the holes and scratches in the drywall...The best part of the (very long, tiring) day was all the good wrestling folks who were happy for Justin and made it a point to tell us they are really happy to see the good, respectable, hardworking boys win, and how much they think of all our boys. We think so much of them too.

Ice Ice Baby

Well I always think of Mom when some natural disaster hits, so here's to you, Mom.
This was one crazy storm. Last Tuesday had it all- 20 degree temps, freezing rain, snow, lightning (yes, lightning), and trees and limbs falling...nonstop...all night long and all at the same time. The sound of trees cracking, crashing, ice falling, hitting the house and roof was a bit unsettling. It was one of those "not much we can do about it" things except say our prayers, sit, and wait. The power was off too. We waited until morning to fire up the generator with the futile hope that for some reason the power outage was only temporary. When we finally got some daylight we saw that the outage was indeed NOT temporary, and we settled in for several days without power. It was beautiful and awesome and treacherous all at the same time.
Now, I live with MacGuyver. If you know Jeff you know he's pretty resourceful and hates being unprepared for stuff. Like back in September after hurricane Ike blew through, when the gas prices were sky high, and we went to get gas for our generator and found most gas stations either closed (no power) or out of gas, and the ones that did have gas were disturbingly creepy- full of mad, short-tempered people tired of paying 3.85 for gas and then waiting in line for it. So he happened to have a day or two's worth of gas ready for the generator, and we had just stocked up at the store. Also, he had bought a bunch of candles and wind-up flashlights. We had plenty of light. We also had developed a system using the generator back in September. We knew how many things we could plug in at once and rotated the garage freezer with the fridge. We put our beer out on the patio. (Yummmmmm) We also have natural gas at the house, so we can cook on it or on the wood stove, and we have hot water in the upstairs bathroom. Phone service was out, so no internet. All in all, a crazy week but we are only minimally out of whack. I have been on the phone nonstop for two days, folks wanting to "get on the list" so Jeff can come rescue them from their tree disasters. Too icy right now, but he'll be full force by the end of the week. This town looks like a tornado came through, and I'm not kidding. Enjoy the photos...God bless us all.

All Lampe Finals

So we had a long day of wrestling yesterday, but all was good from the Lampe perspective. Dominic and Justin were wrestling their regional tournament, from which the top four in each weight class qualify for state. They were also wrestling the same weight class. As it turned out, Justin wrestled well and won his way out to the final, and Dominic pulled an upset to beat the #2 seed to also reach the final- it was an all-Lampe 89# final! Justin can beat Dominic, it's kind of just "how they are." Different types of wrestlers, and Dominic's just not at Justin's level yet, mainly in intensity. But there they were at the end, #1 and #2 in the region. Rather exciting I must say. Proud Mommy cheering them both on.
John was at a 22-team stacked tournament at the same time. I got over there to see him qualify for HIS final too. All Lampes, all the time.
He had a different story, since he had to face the 2008 state champ, who has been on fire this season, apparently not losing anything and pinning everyone. John was no exception as he got stuck too, but he knows he has work cut out for the state meet. John has a way of figuring these things out; he'll adapt and work on the strategies the best he can, like he does. It may not be his year to win state, or maybe it is... We are proud parents I must say. They are just some really good boys.

Duke

This is the famous Duke. Running partner, couch potato extraordinaire. Gotta love 'im.

Don't email me.

Well, at least not at the one associated with this blog. I don't know how to fix it, but my email address is ampe2368@bellsouth.net. So email me there. Also, I am seriously time-deprived, so it will be nothing short of a miracle if I actually post anything here. I've had this blog for months now and never put anything on it. I'll try really hard.
This winter is one of change and sameness both. I find myself on lockdown more because Angela picks up colds like my furniture picks up lint, so she stays in a lot. Rita and Maria are out more, but mainly because Rita is in charge of the small barnyard critters, the chickens and rabbits. It's an extremely repetitive cycle of laundry, dishes, sweep and vacuum, laundry, dishes, sweep and vacuum, laundry...well, you get the picture. That said, I don't mind. I kind of like those things that are "normal." Those are the things that are constant and good and let me know that everything is running. Heaven help us if I get behind in the laundry. We usually make the children do everything, but the laundry is one of those things best left to moi. Seriously, our kids are quite self-sufficient.
Different this school year has been John being at St. X, which was one of those decisions wrought with worry and what-ifs but has been found to be a good thing. He made all A's this quarter in honors classes, and has been having a tremendous wrestling season. He seems to like school even though it's extremely challenging. He studies all the time. His teachers and coaches are all very happy with him and we are told all the time what a good boy he is, which is every parent's dream I think. He hurts himself a lot; we seem to have a handle on his bloody noses (his nemesis all last year) but he has split his chin twice, both requiring trips to the doctor for stitches and/or glue. He also had a terrible bout with bursitis in his knee over the summer which made his knee swell up like a balloon and had 60-70 cc's of fluid drained off with a VERY large needle. Ewwww. Besides that he's tweaking his normally 152 pound muscle-bound self into a very swelt 137 pounds and doing 2-3 hour wrestling practices every day. He's in his element. But I really don't want to hear him whine about food any more. He has that sunken-in, death warmed over look on his bony face most the time. Today he has a black eye to boot. Cute Cute Cute. He makes a mommy proud.
Justin just went out to Tulsa and wrestled in the Tulsa Nationals, the first one he's ever done. We're *told* by the experts that Tulsa is the most competitive youth tourney in the country. If that is true, Justin is better than we even thought. He didn't place, however, he went 3 wins-2 losses, beat the #3 seed, and every match was close. Nobody really dominated him. So we are excited for him. Dominic is wrestling really well right now too. He and Justin are the exact same weight. Within a few ounces of each other all the time. Tonight and tomorrow is their regional tournament which qualifies them for the state meet. Justin is the #1 seed and Dominic is the #3 seed! Crazy. It could be an all-Lampe final tomorrow night!! How cool is that?
Jeff and I just try to keep up with everything. It's impossible really. I only teach two classes a day, but Angela has therapy a few times a week, and of course, Jeff keeps the trees going and breaks his back for a living. Ugh. The hurricane back in September was the gift that keeps on giving; he had PLENTY of winter work due to it and he is STILL getting calls as a result of it. That was a crazy storm. The kids and their cousins all got me running this summer, and I've been doing that regularly ever since. I love it. I take either Dominic or Justin with me most the time and our goofy cane corse Duke with me all the time; he's a baby but he can clear a playground! Scares the bejeebies out of everyone. We Lampes like that.

Until next time...Deo gratias.